The Last Report: A Short Story by Susan Visvanathan copyright 2019

Morning brought her the brightest pleasures, the sun was drenched in its own spangled light, the moon wilting in the far distance could barely be seen. Yet she knew that it was there, quite incandescent, teller of time, keeper of tales. We were brought into the simplicity of our forest homes by the kindness of vagrant hunters. We knew our time was simply that of silence. No one would ask us any questions, we would be brought our food at appropriate times. All that was requested of us was that we obey the order to remain hidden for ever. Ofcourse, the boys were small, barely toddlers. They grew up knowing the forest as their only home. They feared nothing, often leaving their homes in search of honey, the dead-skull moth being their guide in this venture. Their mother would wait, never anxious, always smiling and murmuring prayers and songs, for without them, the hours would never pass. They had no servants, they were denied friends. They had to live in the clear light of the woods, where the trees were splayed, and otters frolicked in the water. They neither feared the snake, the bear or the tiger, hearing them sometimes, but so distant, that they knew they would not approach. Every night they lit a fire. They knew their only hope to life was to return to the earth, to be once more a part of it. They were unnamed, unknown, full of odd anxieties, never looking to the past for it had brought them nothing but shame. The sorrows of the years clung to them like cobwebs. Even in their mother’s womb, when they heard the whispers of those who wished them dead, coveting their father’s kingdom, they were sorrowful. It was as if there was no end to human desire, that the longing for another’s possessions was what made people what they were. War was only another name for lust, and the children knew that their mother cried often in the loneliness of the cool shade in which she slept every afternoon. They would see that her clothes were damp with sweat. The heat of the sun, her sorrow, her tears and sweat combined to lend an odour to the very air, a fragrance of neem and jasmines. Occasionally a bee hunter or a forager stopped by with things they could eat, hurriedly leaving when their mother, still young and beautiful, muscular, brown skinned and very strong like the bow she carried with her beckoned them, and whispered something to them. They knew of her royal clan, they were afraid of her, sometimes they said things which made her laugh, but then they would turn and run, faster than the gazelle in the face of the running leopard. She knew how to take care of herself, and those who thought she needed pity, often received a barbed remark. Sometimes, she turned away friends, afraid that they would give away her hidden palace of leaves, roots and flowers, disclosing where she now lived, away from preying eyes. The earth was always damp, the sky blazoned, things grew easily, they were never hungry. In the beginning she thought of their father, but as the years passed, and they were forbidden to meet, she forgot him. She did it without regret as she had been exiled without notice. They had been away from each other before, and while his company was dear to her, he was after all a stranger. The enemy had become more familiar, and memories of her escape still haunted her, the smell of burning flesh, the conqueror of a petty kingdom whom her once beloved husband had rooted out as a hated enemy. The washer woman’s often- told story sometimes got lost in the sound of clothes hitting the rock… It had begun with a grievous injury. Not willing to accept the love of the strange maiden, he had taken his knife and made to cut her lock of hair, but in a moment, it was the nose which got sliced off. They saw it lying on the ground, the bone was like a white scalpel, the knife was bloody, there was no going back. Suprankha, the woman with the large eyes and the long tresses of hair, had lain in her beautiful silken clothes, till her brother swooped down from the skies, and took her away. The brothers knew then that a careless gesture had taken away their right to freedom, to the possibility of return to the glades of their own country, where the forests were waiting for them. It was not the plenitude of these hills where they had lived for some years, the very land was continually harvested, leaving boulders and rocks, threatening existence itself. The flat plains were now golden with grain, their brother was well able to look after the people. He had drawn in the rivers, and life there under his care was gentler than when they had left it. This accident of pushing off a woman whose lust had irritated the lord of the forest made an enemy of the king of the South. No, he did not have ten heads. He was just a very intelligent man, dark, suave and worthy of his kingdom. He took his sister home, mutilated, dying and eager for revenge. And so, many days after the event, he came back sworn to take the Lord’s wife away from him. The washerman’s wife stopped in the telling of the story. She was a thin woman with a golden nose ring, and used to have a group around her, as she finished the tasks of the day. They expected her to keep them entertained, and as someone who went to the hidden palace everyday, she always had news of the events that she had seen, for the listening pleasure of the young boys who crowded around her in the lush afternoons when she was weaving brooms and mats.. So, you see, they were all very young, and helpless. The twin brothers were adept at climbing trees, and dropping fruit. Sometimes they were frightened by the wind, and would hide in their mother’s thick woven robes. Their father and his brother had come to visit them, but they had fled from them, hiding in the thick forest till they heard them galloping away. How could they return when once abandoned with the finality of civic virtue? How could they find comfort in the company of nomadic soldiers? It was as if they had been rendered insignificant, thrown out like a bunch of old clothes. The boys often pressed their mother’s stomach. Was it possible that they could have been hidden there? How could they have found space inside this frail woman, who now looked as if she had been reared in the woods, a tendril of vine, the white flowers of the bitter gourd could not compete with her for her beauty. And so, from their memory, of forgotten stories told by their mother, they dredged an unfinished story, a final report, saying that now that their mother had been absorbed into the womb of the earth, they would tell it, to painters and writers alike, with their father’s benediction. How pleased they had been when it always ended with their father bringing her home to Ayodhya, and in every city that they passed, people lit their lamps and came out to greet them. When she heard the washerwoman’s version, their mother had said abruptly, “That’s her account. There are many accounts, as people remember things differently when time passes, and the years bring us to new endings.” 1 So was the woman who owned the bow a giant? He lifted it. He was empty of thoughts. His father had sent him so far in search of a bride that he was surprised when he stood in front of the audience that watched him so closely. It was early summer. The cuckoos were calling, the mango trees had flowered. He rubbed his eyes, and looked at the bow. He lifted it without difficulty but his brow creased. He looked around. There was silence. He was a quiet man himself, and his teacher had explained the path to him. There was only one goal. That goal was his from birth. Anything he did was essentially a fulfillment of that promise. The perfection of his life was a seeming camouflage for the greater things that lay ahead. So in the silence that followed, he understood the bride was his now. She came to him with startling fleet footedness. She had nothing to say too, except to offer him the marriage garland. They saw no one around them, and with the very act of mutual acceptance, she was his. He had no language to communicate that he had been sent to win her, and she had no words to say that there was no debate. Whoever lifted the bow (and he had broke it in his eagerness) was hers to command. Her days of freedom were over. She had no choice, it was fortunate that there was such mutual understanding and love between them. They found themselves looking at each other, startled by their beauty, their immediate and instinctive conjointness. They knew fate had brought them together, and before the mangos ripened she would have left her father and mother, and accompanied him to his home. These things were not unknown to them, there were border crossings for other such marriages. Their dialects often fused, and she had to learn to speak like him. He didn’t mind how long it took, and he didn’t mind what mistakes she made learning the language of power. Secretly, she agreed to marry him, and secretly she agreed to accompany him. No one would know the pact she made with him. She was after all a young girl, it was easy to persuade her. Her home was all she had ever known. And now, this Prince immersed in his books would take her away on a white horse. She had never seen a horse like that before. It was Arabian, from across the seas, and ridden by soldiers in turns. He thought it would be easy to travel with her on it, and they would be home before the seasons had changed. But her mother sent elephants, servants, boxes of gold and silk, and enough cows to feed an army. He felt slowed down by it all. Yet, he said nothing. She was afraid that his silence was a sign of boredom, but he assured her it was not so. His world was different from hers, that was all. He felt comforted in her presence, he said, he found it peaceful. He liked looking at her, her skin was dark, her hair black and curly. This was pleasing to him. He did not believe that kinship was about colour, that preferred pale whiteness: he was happy that she was slim, young, clever. He was not looking for beauty or wealth. He had heard many times that she had been born in a furrow. He laughed, saying that was how the people would describe a woman who stayed home and kept her garden embellished by fruit trees. They never called each other by name, and nor did the people who accompanied them. Her mother came with her, and stayed for a few days to see that her daughter was well looked after. They had quarters in the palace all to themselves. They were accompanied always by an entourage of brothers. She remembered her father and his austerities, and the simple life they had led. She would wake up in the morning, as the sun was beginning to ride the sky. It would be the day that the dogs would gather under the mango tree, waiting for her to arrive. There were many of them, some were spotted and others were marked by the deer as their enemies, for their tongues were lolling out, they were greedy and sharp eyed. Sometimes when they saw her, they mistook her for a deer. Her colour was dark, and she was born out of the earth, dressed in deer skin, and in the early mornings she was full of a certain agility. Her hair fell down in the waves that were combed out carefully by her mother. Her father allowed her to ride on her own as she was his only child. He was not afraid for her, because she was after all the daughter of a king, and simple though he was, unafraid of greater warriors, he knew in his heart that he must give her away in marriage to one who surpassed him in wealth and learning. Her father had thought the Prince bored and willful, but to his great surprise he had lifted the bow, and with a simple shrug had broken it. It was the beginning of a new era. His wild and sturdy daughter, lettered and sophisticated, always dressing in deer skin in the cold winter months was now ready to roam in palanquins, wearing jewels and beautiful clothes. She was after all one of the greatest painters of her time, skilled with the brush and eager to squeeze colours and saps from flowers in the jungle, from the trees in the great woods outside her father’s home. The river where she bathed culminated into a simple lake, and it was here that the mango tree was revered, for they thought she brought with them luck, joy, bountifulness. It was their safeguard against famines and poverty, the lustrous fruit was their motif on weavers’ looms, on the paintings on their floors, on their walls. Each child in the agriculturally wealthy land was reared on these paints, and the Princess was as adept as the poorest and the highest born. Those days were now long past, almost forgotten in the grandness of her new world. So in her husband’s palace she learned to keep silent. It was required of her. He was always busy at his studies. His teachers continued to tutor him, and he was thought to be befitting as a warrior to concentrate on Bisrakh, the Lord of Death, ten headed, or so they said. It was his clan duty to kill him. Tenheaded! That’s another way of saying that he is intelligent, very very learned. Demon King, they call him, but we have often reduced his clan to ashes, and his brothers to aliens. It is my sworn duty, not just a vow, to defeat him. Sometimes she was sad that military strategy engaged him. They were children after all, surely there was time for play. So she asked her father to let her study too, and to convince her husband that it would not distract him, but only fulfill the promise that Bisrakh would be punished for his excesses. Her father wrote back, on her mother’s return that she had his permission, but while the Prince was at war, she was not to leave her new home. They were peaceful happy days, nothing could be better than the kingdom of the Prince, built ornately on the fecund plains, with the river beside, though not as broad as the one she knew. Every morning she woke to the sound of birds, and the sun rising promised her another day of learning to live in swathes of time which were evenly divided between his mother and him. It was almost as if she were married to his mother, something she did not find difficult to understand, it was true of most brides, they learned more from their husband’s mother than from their own. What was required of them was perfect obedience and polite speech. The language she spoke was not acceptable to them, so she had tutors who made her conform to the palace. And she was quick to learn. There was no way that her husband would find fault with her. She learned to control her temper, her moods, her desires, and to remain silent. He was appreciative of her beauty, and sometimes he said that he had never loved anyone before he met her. Her complaisance became her second nature. Her acquiescence to the customs of her husband’s palace became the jewel in his crown, the sparkling sense of wifely duty, loyalty and mutual affection. Bisrakh, their enemy’s home, was only a night’s journey away, and crowded into their consciousness. It had been evacuated many aeons ago and the dark knight was now a king in another land. There was no occasion to fear him, but he pervaded their thoughts. He was always there, they never let a day pass but they conjured him up, and invented his fabled warriorhood, how he venerated their uncle Krishna, but was contemptuous of their lineage. The Prince had teachers who saw that he was eager for war, but with a lovely wife, and an anxious mother, what need was there for journeys and conquest? So they waited, teaching him the verse that drew attention to his powers. No one could write a text as beautifully as he, no one meditate on the greatness of Indra with as much valour, no one could understand the texts of verse and divine will, the play of future and past in contemporary existence. His father left him alone, never seeking his advice for anything. This left him speechless most days, and he wandered endlessly, thinking about the reason for his birth, but then his increasingly powerful teachers took him away to the forest, and showed him the ceaseless wonders of the earth. Sometimes his wife followed him, and overheard the lessons. Silence was requested of them, they had to listen, they could not do else but memorise the instructions. There would be the hollow incessant sound of the blackbird, and the steadfast tapping of the woodpecker, and occasionally the guttural cry of the peacock, the blue streaking by, of the kingfisher, and the curious foraging of the egret. The drone of the teachers’ voices sometimes made them sleep, and the Prince would wake to see that his wife was chasing the iridescent brown speckled butterflies that were blue in the inner wing. How to be present while conspicuously invisible that was what was demanded of her, and sometimes she presented herself to him, but ran away before he could catch her. They lived entirely in the moment, and her friendship with his brothers extended to the white horse which they called the Ashvamedha horse. The rituals of fire, the ritual of wandering: these were almost instinctive. There was not much difference between her father’s longing to be absorbed in the Gods, and her husband’s ambition to rid the world of the demon king Bisrakh, now known as Ravana. To name him was dangerous, he was the one who brought fear and envy in the hearts of those who coveted his power over the firmament. What does one king have which the other doesn’t? It didn’t seem to her that any of these warrior kings were different from one another. They had different principalities, were used to servants and concubines, and when they married they did so to extend their properties. And there was Kaikeyi, always trying to rid the young couple of their property and their rights. Quiet! I can hear what you are thinking. As your father’s wife, I forbid you to talk to him. You may not come near our quarters. If you wish to speak to him you must send your mother. I alone will take your message to the King. The Prince went away without speaking to his father. It was years since he had done anything but take orders from Kaikeyi. So be it. He went to his own chambers and found that the Princess was reading as usual. His mother was a gentle soul who had been given the status of resplendent Queen who must not speak. His brother Laxman was always hovering around his wife, a kind of guardian, jealous of his duties, and never far away. And there was Bharat, with his shining eyes, his valour as great as his siblings, quiet, rule bound, full of enthusiasm and energy, never letting their blood lines be confused by a false ardour for priority. He was in awe of his brothers, and slipped across the lines of control with a certain brevity of speech. On seeing the Prince arrive, they stood up, his mother included. He demanded from them a certain propriety, he was the next in line, everyone should know it. This was in contrast to his usual demeanour of philosophical detachment, which allowed everyone to know that he was absorbed in other things. “Was the sky blue?” His servants, the priests and teachers, were absorbed in the same quest, if the sky has no circumference, and is not blue, how can we measure it? Yet, today, he was spurned from his duties by his father’s wife Keikeyi, and now he would have to wait to meet his own father as if he were an ordinary serf. It was unthinkable. Chapter 2 Did she really send you away? Yes, she kept me waiting for many hours. I could hear him, but I was not permitted to speak with him. Was there anything that you needed? No, mother. I just wanted to see my Father. Maybe she thought you wanted a share in the kingdom. Before he is dead? It would never occur to me. And yet, and yet, Kaikeyi fears us. She thinks we will take away your Father and make lives of our own, without her. How is that possible? You know he loves her. He sees in her the beauty of a young woman, she has access to his every thought, and she thinks she knows what we want, which for her is terrifying, the possibility that with my ascension you will be in power again. His mother laughed. She was now charmed by her son and his wife, the way in which they frolicked in the woods like deer. She could imagine them, lying side by side, thinking about the children they would bear together. SiiyaRam was how the people referred to them, they were indeed one. No one could separate them, for their bonding was in peaceful silence. Their being together was something that the people exulted in. They looked at them as if they were Gods, as if they could stand for the holy in all its manifestations. As close as siblings, sharing the same breath, lying on the sandy river bed, free of inhibitions, yet secretive in all they did, they were like a mutual blessing in a peaceful realm. Their siblings were proud of them, and as lovers they were respectful to one another, and to their parents. He had been warned of their separation even before they were married. He could smell the fragrance of the jasmines which had been her wedding wreath to him. Her sweetness filled his senses, and yet…yet.. it was not yet. He would enjoy her presence, the flitting sense of her shadow self. The duplicity of presence that accompanied her, they called it maya, the self that was her, yet not her. He wondered if she knew that she was spirit manifest, the keeper of the sacred bow, that he had accidentally broken when pulling its string. What was there to fear, in prophecy, or bad news, or events which were yet to happen? The Prince’s thoughts were on his Father. After his marriage to Kaikeyi, he was preoccupied with continuing the line, as if it was an obsession that came with his blood line. Was he, Rama, not enough? There was Bharat, Laxman, Shatrughan. And each carried the pride of their clan, the descent from the Sun, whose maternal uncle, accompanying him daily was the Moon. So why did he fear for his Father’s life? He was detached the whole day, speaking neither to wife nor mother, nor the troupe of younger brothers who followed him everywhere. He was concerned that they not think of him as the harbinger of bad news. It was as if his gentle face was wrought with sorrow, as if he knew intuitively that a man like him who had been asked to concentrate on his foe, by his teachers, could find no time for anything else. Who was the foe? He pitted his brain against this question. He was told he had been born to destroy evil. What was evil? He had no recourse with it in his young life. Ofcourse Keikeyi was the closest he had come to hating. She was the one who used her beauty to wrest from his father that should have rightfully belonged to Kaushalya and himself. She was herself a warrior, a woman, born to produce more male progeny. They were needed to continue wars which had not even been manifested except in the imagination of the protagonists of battle. It was, as if they, though rich and landed, thought of war all the time, like Parushram, and those cousins who were as if born from pepper seeds, where there were two, there were now a hundred. So hot, so full of wrath, neighbours of theirs who sought war with the Pandavs, first having reduced them to poverty and exile. He too had been told his fate, exile, and separation from loved ones. He thought these were assignments from the skies, what matter to him how it emanated, it would still be him, making choices with the set of cards that fate had given him. He felt no wrath or greed, he would proceed with equanimity of mind and strength of purpose. Chapter 3 Suprankha appeared, and the dice was cast. The game had begun. She was a visitor to the palace, bearing jewels and fine silks, and spices. He looked at her and knew that here was trouble. She was ushered into a beautiful room which overlooked the river, and there she stayed for more than a year, not disclosing her identity as the daughter of the Bisrakh clan. They would have sent her away politely, but it was their custom to maintain peace among princely clans, and since she arrived with soldiers and servants bearing letters, they gave her every comfort. He could not bear that she avoided his wife, and spoke ill of her to the servants who shared gossip among themselves. He thought it was apparent that just as he was busy with his studies with his teachers, the women would find much to do among themselves. On the contrary, they avoided one another, and behaved like rivals. It was as if some great spirit of war rode in the house with the coming of Suprankha. And the year passed with evil intent, as Kaikeyi too insulted him at every turn. It was difficult, but such was human nature. Kaikeyi wanted him away and out of sight, and Suprankha wanted to create a wedge from the covetousness and rivalry she felt and made instinctively known to the Princess. She looked at him and sighed every time he passed by. She walked past him, with the silk of her clothes touching his bare arm. She passed her fingers close to his, almost placing it over his, when they ate together in the inner chambers of Kaushalya who was always generous and courteous with guests. Supranka gave him fine gifts, constantly procuring them from her brother across the seas. They were gifts of gold and rosewood, sometimes crafted in fine furniture. After some months he knew she was a Bisrakh princess, come with the Sanghas from across the sea. Lanka. He didn’t dare say it. They had sent an emissary. He asked her. She denied it. She said she was in love with him. It was a familiar story. The woman scorned. So he snubbed her again and again, and left her to Lakshman’s devices, till at last she left of her own will, and appeared at her brother’s court, and said, “He cut off my nose!” Her brother, a valiant prince, who had ravaged many kingdoms, and desecrated palaces was always indulgent of her. “Not really, my dear. Your nose is as pretty as it ever was. Let me send you a nose ornament, a diamond which shines like the stars. I love that you are back with us after so long, though its true that I never lost sight of you.” “He cut off my nose. He loves that woman. He never looks this way or that. He reads his books. Just as you think of him all the time, so he thinks of you. You are a great Shiva devotee, so he knows that you cannot be harmed.” “He broke the bow that Janaka’s daughter has. So Sita is Kali, and I am devoted to her.” “Krishna is Kali too, and so I want to know what you will do for me. I must have my revenge.” “Oh my dear heart! You know I love you best of all. You are my sister. If he has hurt you, I will wage war.” “He has cut off my nose.” Bisrakh laughed. “If I didn’t know you, my dear, I would think you wanted me to go to Ayodhya and ask him why he did so. You must have behaved inappropriately, tried to get between his sheets, looked at his beautiful black skin and wanted it for your own. Your own line will not come near you for fear of your temper, and you dare to ask the Prince of Ayodhya to be yours? Shame on you. I have other matters on hand. Go quickly to my wife and tell her that you have returned, and if you keep saying that he has cut your nose, there will be war. In a mutual dream I picked you up from the ground, and sewed your nose back, a pretty piece of cartilage for sure, but no one would want a war over a displaced nose. Yes, he offended you, yes, you felt grievously hurt, yes, he punished you for pursuing him. As he is a happily married man seeking to bear male heirs with his wife Sita, the ambition or fate of all those Sun kings, you really must set aside your vagrant thoughts. I do not look to anger him, I do not want to enrage that fine prince, but your stories of his wife’s beauty have me very very curious.” Chapter 4 Kaikeyi demanded that the Prince be exiled, and sent him and the Princess away. They went without a murmur, bidding the weeping Kaushalya goodbye. She accompanied them to their wagon in which they had packed nothing of significance. The humiliation was more than she could bare. Laxman unable to stay away from Ram and Sita, went with them, and Bharat swore to look after the kingdom while they were away. To them 14 years of exile, and the loss of their home meant nothing: they had one another, they believed that whatever happened was fore-told, they would continue their studies, they would lead good lives, they would pray to the Gods, and keep the ancestors in mind. It was not as if they could judge the importance of anyone’s actions. Their weeping mothers, the wrath of their fathers and concomitant impotence of men in their prime of life, was of no consequence. Kaikeyi had spoken. She was the Queen, she demanded the right of rule, she had no enmity with anyone, no rancor, she only demanded her rights. This was how it would be. The pallor of the King went unnoticed, he could not lift his hand, he could only lie in a stupor. He said not a word, ate nothing, his sleep was marred by bad dreams and less than a week later he was dead. When news reached Ram and Sita in the forest they felt the dread that comes with a sudden unexpected death. They had thought exile was punishment for their worldly desires, and being young had accepted the will of the Queen. Alone in their simple home in the woods, they cried themselves to sleep, knowing now that they could never go back, or not till they were summoned. Laxman looking on Ram as his greatest and most loved Prince, got them food and water, made friends with wandering mendicants, got news of home, and kept them safe. They knew that the palace they had lived in was a dream, the past was of course sacred, their memories kept them secure. It existed, Kaikeyi’s ambition had destroyed them, but time was fleeting in its essence, for as scholars they lived entirely in the presence of eternity. Sita made friends with the animals, every wolf, deer, rabbit, tiger, leopard, even the lions, showed themselves to her, leaving her surprised and wonder struck. The elephants trumpeted outside their home, trampling the gardens and looking in through the windows, but never endangering them. They too were contented to see those humans who had become like them, accepting life for what it was, never communicating the finiteness of their dreams. The forest people allowed them to converse with them, and were not afraid of them. They lived peacefully for many years, till Bisrakh arrived looking for vengeance. The six days of Dashrath’s death were slow, accompanied by dreams and self flaggelation. No one could save the old man from this his fate, the loss of a son, the necessity of abandonment to the spirits that visit one, before the last breath is drawn. He remembered the chatter of birds, the secrets they told him, the way in which he would draw them to his breast, asking of each if it were well. He understood that they could circumscribe the earth with their little wings, travelling long distances in the company of their friends, forming patterns in the sky. He, too, would become like one of them as his spirit swept past the minutae of time. Nothing could stop his death, neither his fear of it, nor the heroic radius of the arrow pulled out from below his metalled coat. He was free to roam. It was with a shudder that he remembered how precious his life had been, how much he had enjoyed every moment, made amends with those whom he disliked. It was as if the voice of Kaikeyi demanding Ram’s exile would be interred with him in this long sleep. He did not fear death, he only longed for his son to return, so that he could question him about so many things he did not understand. Kaikeyi wanted to hold on to his body, she wished him to forego the next stage of his dharma. She thought that by keeping Bharat by her side as King, she would have Dashrath and the kingdom. But life is not according to our wishes. It was not he who was in the forest now, it was his beloved son, whom he had spent so many years with, watching him as he grew, marrying him to the loveliest girl that his messengers had found, seeing that he was educated by the wisest. Now the long sleep would fold him into its gentle embrace, he would feel that his days were numbered, with each dawn he would say goodbye to the world. He had nothing to teach Bharat, who had accepted Ram as his King even before the exile took place. What was there to fear? The boy understood his worth, through a process of delegation the empire would be ruled. If there was justice, it would come to its natural logical conclusion after 14 years were spent by his son in the forests. What was decided was the manner of rule in absentia. From his death bed, Dashrath could see his weeping wives, the mothers of his sons. He loved them all, inspite of everything it was his fate to think of each as having given him what he desired most. Each of those children they bore allowed the clan to extend itself, fructify, move forward. They had no rights other than through their children. They were carriers of virtue, they were progenitors of royal seed, the wives hated each other, but they loved him. He was independent of them now, they could do as they wished, live together or not, support Bharat or not. It seemed odd to him that each one of them believed that life was about the future, going on, living in the midst of ever changing seasons, seeing the trees bear fruit, leaves fall, flowers fade. Human life was the same, each was given a span of time. He could not bear to think that in his lifetime he had spawned so much hatred, so much dislike. Because of him, Kaikeyi hated Ram, Kaushalya hated Kaikeyi and the whorl of life went on. He had become attached to Sita who had always treated him with love and respect. He thought her ornamentation of the halls with her beautiful paintings of the fish-eyed goddess the most beautiful expressions of her devotion. Bisrakh’s sister had penetrated their inner halls and had been treated with courtesy. Even if they were enemies, the etiquette of their ancient people had been to trust, to welcome, to make others feel at home. Bisrakh himself had gone into exile in a far off land. It was thought that he would return and wage war on their kingdoms but he never had. When his sister had been recognized, she had been sent off, her gifts of cinnamon and mace (jathipathri) had been thrown into the river and her name forbidden to be spoken. Word had reached them that she had told Bisrakh that her nose had been cut off. Dashrath laughed. He thought that her language was always sweet and pleasant, her rage must have poisoned her tongue. How did one get rid of an unwelcome guest? One fed them well and sent them on their journey, espousing a variety of causes, including the arrival of wedding guests, remaining vague about what wedding and when. He denied the possibility of Suprankha’s nose being mutilated, his sons would never do that. As they had descended from the sun god, they could never never go against the honour that came from the lineage of Chaya, who protected the land and sought to keep everyone in the penumbra of her shadow. Cut a woman’s nose…never, his sons were not capable of that…the cause of war would be something else. And yet, and yet, he knew that tumultuous rage caused men to do things they were ashamed of, and hid from their father. If only she had been sent to him, the King, the purveyor of justice, he would have sent her home with many fine jewels, never mentioning to her or to her brother that they had felt rage welling up when she had broken the force of conventions, and sought to absorb Ram, into her own retinue. Like most powerful princesses, she was used to getting her own way, and her King had appeared before her in the heady assurance that if she brought Ram to him, he, her brother would crown her queen of Lanka. It was a lie ofcourse, but in a laughing wrangle, incestuous and amused, she had agreed. When found out by the ladies of Rama’s court, she denied it all. She had not been pleased to leave the court finally. She had wept, her face becoming quite swollen. Her love for Ram had become an embarrassment to the clan. They realized that having an enemy who wished to cross over was demeaning both to the king who had sent her as a secret emissary, rather spy, and to them too, who did not trust her at all. Kaushalya always believed people could change, but even she was alarmed by the many different ways in which Suprankha was intimidiating everyone. She was bad tempered, and full of a sour and vitriolic language, coupled with great personal charm which overrode these deficits. She could look through Sita as if she was not there, putting her hands on Ram’s shoulder as if it was a sibling bond which they shared from the past. It was difficult to shake her off, till one day, she accidentally said, “My brother Ravana thinks you to be easy to conquer. I shall tell him you are not, surrounded by these many lovely women by your side, your mother and your wife. Your kindness in giving me a home has enabled me to live the life I should have, were our countries not at war.” They had all stared at her, and then she realized that a moment of intimacy had suddenly turned on her, that her fictions which had been so easily accepted were no longer holding them enchanted, and her entourage was called, and she was casually but firmly dismissed. Chapter 5 Laxman and Sita were wandering in the woods when they saw the bird, and wondered from where it had come. It looked like it was made of some strong metal, but it was light and criss crossed with light. They forgot about it, because there were plants to be foraged for their day’s meal. Fruit was plentiful, the sky blue, the wind chill. It seemed to them that the forest had integrated them, made them one of its own children. They no longer felt afraid of the night, of storms, snakes, the roar of wild animals or the trumpeting of elephants. Sita was able to light a fire, and bake earthen pots. And everything seemed simple, till the arrival of the stranger. He was dark and tall, handsome, and able to speak their language without communicating that it was a foreign language. He introduced himself as a prince of a neighbouring kingdom. “My father knows yours” he said, politely, to Laxman. “I have no knowledge of such a friendship.” Laxman was a man of few friends. “Why should you? It was before you were born.” “How did you arrive here?” “By free will.” “Come! You know my meaning!” “A flying machine. You saw it I think.” “So that was what it was. We wondered.” “It was hard to make, but easy to ride.” They fed him, gave him a straw pallet to sleep on. He didn’t seem someone to be afraid of, even when he told them that his kingdom had been ravaged and burnt to ashes. They were children, after all, they had no knowledge of war, other than their assumption that they were victims of an incendiary family situation. They really did not pry into matters of state. Ram continued to study tracts and passages, memorise what his teachers had taught him. He was not there the day that the visitor arrived. It was another day in the forest, Sita and her boy guardian were not afraid of their guest. He stayed quietly in his room, only stepping out to enjoy the stars. He was a fine conversationalist, and he spoke only when they had questions for him. The only time he boasted was when he spoke of his garden. “It’s the first garden, its paradise.” Sita was intrigued. “What does it have?” “Mango trees, my dear. Many different types of mangos.” She was immediately interested. “Can I see it?” The visitor nodded and went inside the room where he had his belongings. Next morning, Laxman found the visitor had left, and Sita was nowhere to be found. Ram returned from his pilgrimage to Gangotri, and found the home he had built was empty. He had no idea where his brother and his wife were. Then after much searching in the woods, he found Laxman with the silver anklet. “You let a stranger into our house?” “He was such a gentle wise person. How could I know he was Bisrakh?” “Bisrakh came to our house?” “We did not recognize him.” “Was Suprankha with him?” “No, why?” “Because she wanted revenge.” “How would we know that? You know I have been awake and alert, yet, I heard no sound. Sita and I were always together, and we had news from Urmila that your father had died of heartbreak. We were spent with weeping, and you were hiding your grief by your pilgrimages to Ganga.” “This is absurd! You wish me to believe that its because of my absence that Suprankha has sent her brother to take away she who was most precious to me?”’ “Brother, the fault was entirely my own. I take full responsibility for it. I have been looking for her in the forest, and look here is her anklet. She dropped it for us to understand that she has been kidnapped. I know that every morning and evening she tightened the clasp so that she would not lose this piece of jewellery.” “You knew her better than me, then. I have no recall of this silver. What else do you know of her?” “Brother! This is not the time for suppositions. You know I got rid of Suprankha. It might well be her brother. That visiting prince must be Ravana. You dare to waste words, when we must be riding to save her.” “And how shall we find her? Can the squirrel tell us, this squirrel who has crossed our path? Sita is as sweet as these forest friends, she is full of an ancient calm distilled from mother Earth. Bhumidevi, (earth goddess) where can we find you?” The brothers watched the curtain fall. It was scene change, and the producers had to provide the backdrop of the sea at Rameswaram, for which they used many feet of finely woven silk cloth from Kanchipuram. They were confounded how quickly their lives had changed. Living in the forest had come easily for them, and now this space had been destroyed. The trees were still there, the boles of their trunks as large as buildings in Ayodhya. The trees had protected them, fed them fruit and flowers, and Sita’s presence still clung to the leaves which continually regenerated themselves after every harsh winter. The Prince watched his brother, wondering at his rage. Lakshman jumped about nervously. It was as if his brother felt the intensity of separation in every inch of his body, in every cell of his being. How would he calm him down? Sita was so precious, he could imagine her a prisoner, without food or water, but not vanquished. Ravan! He was punishing them for having what he could not have, he was their enemy by long lineage of remembrances. Vanquished once, as their neighbor, he was accosting them now from across the ocean. How would he cross the seas? He looked at Lakshman. “I have a friend, Anjaneya.” “Who?” “Anjaneya. A man like you, with few words, who is the greatest physician of our times. He is my brother, and worshipful of the Gods who have given him great spiritual powers. He can fly, heal through magical herbs, move mountains.” “Let’s go to him.” Chapter 6 “You can call me Hanuman” “This river by your home is very turbid.” “It joins the Ganga in the pitralok. Tell me how can I help you.” “Sita is a captive of Ravan.” “How do you know that.” “He is the only enemy we have. A former friend’s son, who wrecks havoc when he has opportunity to quell us.” “Old enmities are hard to heal. We heard about how you treated his sister.” “We were her hosts, but she tried to take Ram away from us.” “How can anyone steal anyone, I fail to understand.” “She angered the women of the house by her manners.” “So her arrogance was not pleasing to you? You insulted her?” “We sent her back from where she came.” “You kings are always full of guile.” “We are exiled princes with no home. My brother’s wife is captive. Ravan told her about his garden, he said he would show her trees she knew were different from those whom she had seen. A different variety of mango.” “And she went out of curiosity, hearing the sweet words of a visitor?” “I’ll chop off your head.” “Alright, alright. Now tell me what should I do for you? How can I help my friend?” “We need to cross the sea with our army. You know how we can do it?” “If Ravan can fly through the forest in a machine of light, then, my heroes, I can build a bridge for you.” The bridge was an archipelago, a construction of natural stones placed together. The bridge was their stronghold. They found that they could easily walk across, and tell the waiting audience that the play was over. Sita had been saved and they could return to Ayodhya. The audience was not pleased. It was loudly interactive, jumping on the stage, and demanding to see Hanuman’s tale. Anjaneya yawned and stretched. Yes, the matter was of grievous importance. A woman had been abducted. God knows where she was. He lay on the sand. The Tungabhadra in monsoon was always a sight. It flowed dangerously close to his home. The sun was hot. The river sand was damp, the tides were almost like they were sea coves, linking the marshes and grass lands. He swung from tree to tree, his arms long, his head powerful and the eyes sharp and bright. They would leave for Rameswaram tomorrow. It would be monsoon, and dangerous, yet he was sure his men would find a way. For aeons they had worked for others, their sinews rippling in every season, as they lifted loads, living on nuts and berries. Anjaneya knew that these princes who came to him for help were immensely powerful, and that Sugriva had finally given him legitimacy of work in every domain. His people asked for nothing but the blessings of these princes. The journey across the waters took almost a year, as it had to be done by cover of darkness, and then there were the monsoon months, which sometimes appeared twice across the archipelago buffeted by the heavy laden winds. They reached the other shore in batches, and being bearded and swift swinging across trees with great skill, they reached Sita’s garden. They looked and saw her, sleeping in a grove. Though it was bright daylight, she was not clearly visible to them. They saw that the groves of mangos hid her, and that there were guards and servant women constantly at watch. They also saw that she had become half her size, and no food was served to her all the long day. Yet, she seemed peaceful and quiet, accepting the gentle ministrations of her servants. At night there was a loud shouting, which they could not understand. Sita woke up, she did not look frightened. It was Mandodari, constantly quarrelling with Suprankha. What was it about? The reason for the quarrel was not very clear. That it was a regular occurrence that much was certain. Sita called out to both women. They stopped for a moment each to acknowledge her, but they did not stop heaping abuse on one another. The noise brought Ravan down from his loft. He was busy in his morning rituals though the early morning sky was becoming visible in the night sky..it was his patron, the venus that was at the same time pluto of the night, (or so the Yavana called them); for him, it was Shiva. He came to look at Sita. He was pleased by her austerities. Ten years had passed, and yet her husband could not make any headway with his plans. Clearly he was still in the clutches of the forest, the wiles of the monkey people who had professed their loyalty but had no sense of their worth or their value. It was odd how badly they were treated, left to their own devices. With the death of Sugriva, there was no camp, no follower, no leader. Ravan had heard that a man called Hanuman was leading the pack. He had devised a strategy where his ability to minister to his master’s anxiety had made him a prime favourite. We all do that, Ravan thought. We befriend those who can help us, and we bestow them gifts and honours. How would they find Sita? There was no chance at all. She was not even recognizable as so many years had passed. With the fall of the fruit, season after season, he knew that the creases on her cheek were now permanent. Fortunately, they are children who value their traditions, those traditional gymnasts. They believe that the earth was made for the education of their senses. The monkey brigade, he thought to himself, laughing. He loved them, truly, for they charmed him by their antics. He watched them up on the trees, offering them fruit when they came close. To think that their fingers have an opposable thumb. We dropped our tails, but are not very different from them, truly! They will never recognize Sita for the old woman she has become, it is pointless that they feel so deeply for her, think of her as someone with beauty and virtue. Age and loneliness are the price people have to pay for the passage of time. He had often looked out from his window in the turret, and seen that she was in a space of meditative quiet. Why had he thought that solitude would kill her? She was curled up, in the hollow of the tree. It was a large tree, with its leaves delicate and pointing upwards, full of the sap of life. The transparent leaves were a promise of life. She herself was unaware of its beauty, as her mind was constantly taken up by dreams of her home, her kingdom where one hut was sufficient, an abode of the Gods, the protective deities, who had kept them alive for so many years. It was not that she had aged in any way, she was after all still a young woman. It was just that age had appeared inconsequential to someone in the continuous landscape of death. There was nothing to do, except tide the day, from morning to evening, hiding from the sun and rain, and the gaze of the dark and awesome lord, her husband’s sworn enemy. She saw him every early morning, like the evening star when it shines brighter and brighter to become the early dawn planet signifying the start of a new day. He was always staring at her, his black eyes thrust into her vision, as if he had no other recompense than to look at her. She had heard that he called her “daughter”, to his attendants, described her as having filial obligations to him. She only turned her back to him, to drift into a longer sleep. There was no escape from this terrible prison. It was not that he said anything to her, vile or propitiatory. He just stared at her as if he would like to eat her. His eyes were large, hungry, slit eyed when frustrated as he often was, but in the mornings, when he first beheld her, they spoke volumes of his longing: incestuous, desiring and yet vanquished. Mandodari brought her food, when the sun rose. It was delicious food which she had cooked for Ravan and herself, but Sita would not open her mouth. She would not let her come near her, and when she left, she would tip out all the food under the tree, providing nutrition to the birds and insects. The ants would rush to the floods of food that came their way, reveling in the sweet things that had been meant for Sita. After the sun dried out the remaining morsels, left by the predatory dogs and mewing cats, the food was left to the birds who swept down from the high skies. Ravan was hungry for attention. He felt that whatever he did, he could never get away from Supranka and Mandodari. There they were, quarreling as usual, it meant the day would be just a round of invectives and counter invectives. If only he had not accepted his sister’s challenge and gone into the forest to look for the beautiful wife of Rama. Boredom was the curse of Princes, never mind their nation or rank. Everything was done for them, what was there left to desire, except war and its loot. He had always thought of himself as a handsome man, his darkness a kind of accolade to the night sky. Prince of darkness, his valour was much appreciated. He had lived in this torrid kingdom that he had wrested from the forest people, the rivers, lakes, lagoons and seas anointing him with their casual splendour. Their colours muted the sky, they were myriad in their hues. This beautiful green land, with its wealth of rubies in the rocks, how rich he was, and how completely in love with the earth. Going back to Bisrakh had never been an option, and with the many slaves at his command he had ruled Lanka wisely and well. The girl, the woman he called “daughter” was his only mistake. He had fallen in love with her as soon as he had seen her. He was so eager to please her, to show her his kingdom, to entrance her, to inhabit her body, that he had forgotten that she was married to another, that she was only a girl. Everything about her had enraptured him. If only he could have slipped away with her, without her husband’s brother following them, marking his trail, he could have vanished with his trophy, his new bride. Now, many years had passed, and with the respect that she was due he had instinctively protected her from her obvious slavery… what else could a woman be, but a slave. They had no will, no power, the husband was always ever present in their consciousness. for he spoke through her dreams, he promised her liberation. And she, the willing slave to the fantasy of the passing dream, lay in the garden, (ringed with Ashoka trees with their saffron star like cluster of flowers,) as if she had only to wait…only to wait… “Come, daughter, come with me, into the palace. I have made you a bed, so comfortable, so lined with fine muslin that you will feel as if you are girded by the softest hands.” She stared at him, her brown eyes were clear, and she did not suspect him of malice. He was much older than her, and his beard was flecked with silver. “My husband will come soon. He has told me, I have heard him whispering in the wind. His voice comes to me through the sweet sound of the blackbird in the mango tree.” “No, daughter, you have been in my palace for many years now. You can count the years by the length of your beautiful black hair. Mandodari, your mother has combed it and plaited it, twining it with these beautiful silver threads. See, my daughter, see how my hands have held you close while you were drowsing in the bole of the tree.” “My father will avenge me, and my husband will burn you to ashes.” “Don’t curse me my daughter, come lie with me. You are the answer to my prayers, never did I think that I would have a daughter who would be my bride. I wait for you, I long for you, I think of you.” The thought that the monkey watching her from the top of the coconut trees was Hanuman, her husband’s friend crossed her mind. She looked at him closely, yes, she was almost sure that it was him. “I am tired. Go back to your window, I have now no need of your stories, your lies, your death dealing words. I hate you for stealing me, so many years have passed, and I grow older, knowing that if my husband were to cross the sea and find me, I would be too old to bear children. You have taken away the right I have to hold a child in my arms.” “Not at all, my dear! You are my child, I can find you the most handsome husband that you would ever want. I shall plant him here, next to your bower. I can find him now. Tell me, who it should be. Who would you like for a husband.” “Your cruelty is without measure. Go away. Do not come near me.” “Are you withholding your friendship? After all that I have done for you? I gave you to Mandodari, a tiny seed, and she threw you into the furrow, and there you were found. She said you were beautiful but she had no need of a baby. Your father and mother found you, so exquisite, like a young sapling. Come, let’s forget this sad story, no one knows you are my daughter, no one knows how much I love you, no one knows what you mean to me.” Rage and sorrow twisted Sita’s heart. She looked to the trees but the man that she had thought was Anjanya was no longer there. In the hot afternoon sun she felt the strange languor that beset her every day, and she fell again into a deep sleep. It was not happening to her, it was a dread story that she had dreamed. So her husband was descended from the sun and attendant moon God, and like Chaya, the moon maiden, she too had a split personality. In her dream world, sleeping the day away, awake at night with the stars and the blood curdled moon, she knew that these were just passing fantasies. She who could paint and sing, laugh and weep did so in another world. These eclipses of the moon which sent the world, her world into darkness, was what she dreaded most. She was always awake when the first birds called, the sweet songs of the sunbirds, the ones who were so dear to her, bringing to her the sheer evanescence of dew and their bright colours, blue, black, irridiscent…when she saw them, she realized that the earth was indeed splendid, and found herself again. In the dream state she inhabited during the day, season after season, she lived with Rama in the forest, contented by his presence. Here there was no time, no history, no war, no exclusion, no venomous snakes. There was only the profound calm that accompanied them when they were together. Neither asked for conversation nor gave it. It was the silence that allowed them to believe there were just the two of them, in a love that caused the world to glimmer and exist as if it were new, not as a spiral of time, but in the deep sense of belongingness. Yet, she knew having seen Anjaneya that a battle was being planned, and in the silence of the garden in which she had been placed by her captors many things would occur. She could see it, the battle, the deaths, the end of the reign of Ravan. He was an odd sort of man, churlish, bad tempered, even elderly, one might say. Yet, his blood flowed, and his eyes flashed. He was given to sitting by the window and reading his books, looking at her all the while. She thought of her husband from whom she had been separated for these many years, every moment an aeon. “My dear, my dear, you are awake at last. The sun has been up, and the bees circling your bower. I will come down and see that your mother Mandodari feeds you.” “I threw the food she gave me for the dogs yesterday. If you come near me, I will pierce you with my dagger. You think I am unarmed. My hairpin will be sufficient to cause your death.” Ravan laughed. “Daughter, your venom is sweet. I have never heard such words in my life.” “You have imprisoned me these many years, keeping me away from my loved ones. Yet. I do not fear you, you make me sad, angry..but I feel sorry for you, you are kind to your people, and they look to you as one who is favoured by Shiva. My husband will never forgive you for what you have done to me.” “What did I do to you? You wanted to see my garden, I brought you here. A thin pretty girl you were those many years ago. Now look at you, fully endowed with all your faculties, none are harmed.” “You stole me from my husband.” “He left you alone. Now, don’t be angry. You belong to me. Mandodari and I care for you like our daughter. Everything about you is perfection itself. Tell me, what jewels, precious jewels can I gift you today. I know you prefer the fruits of the forests, just like those monkeys who now constantly visit us. Tell me, should I get you rubies like the pomegranates that you eat so readily from my garden? You refuse the food I send you, or which Mandodari brings for you, but you live on the vegetables you grow yourself…does that make you feel more free?” “However you may describe yourself, with your fatherly feelings or not, I know that you will die at the hands of my husband.” “Don’t curse me, daughter. You are what I most value, you have my heart. I have desired you since my sister described you to me…so many years have passed, and you are still as innocent as when I first saw you, playing in the stream in the early morning.” Sita said “You are nothing but an evil man, your love is nothing but the rapaciousness of one who claims his seed in incestuous union. You hate me, you imprison me, but you cannot vanquish me. Ram will come.” “Yes, ofcourse and burn me like an old faggot. I know. One day he will come, but today is not the day. Eat some bananas. I’ll put some new groves for you. The bees will enjoy the flowers, and you shall have their honey. See that monkey up there? I know that’s your husband’s friend. You think I don’t know that he sends his spies. Yes, I know I have very little time, but I will have you for my own, daughter, you who grew up in a palace, beloved in Mithila and beyond. I cannot forget that we who travelled by sea aeons ago to come to this beautiful island, the pearl island, still have memories that accompany us of our many travels.” She turned her back to him. She had become used to him, she felt that he was now as familiar as her own face. It was a frightening thought. She who was his slave, his prisoner, had become used to him. Every day he opened the window of his turret room and looked at her. She had nowhere to hide, she felt that he as a villain, as a predator, as a possible rapist, the old man who called himself her father, saying Mandodari had begot her…lies, such lies. She dried her tears, she walked to the edge of the garden where he could not see her as she disappeared into the surrounding woods. Ofcourse he had his inventions, he watched her through a display of mirrors, he had machines of all kinds, her world was circumscribed by his ability to be intuitive, to know what she wanted. She missed her mother, the woman who had given her through childhood, every conceivable skill and gift, who had labored to show her the meaning of the world. Mithila was as beautiful as its rivers, its plains of sweet grasses, its mango trees, its brick kilns. Here, in this rain forest she knew no one, and was allowed near nobody. The loneliness she had known was that of the deer and the leopard as they went their own ways, one in search of the other, the other escaping into hidden crevices. She knew that Ravan was engaged in a battle of wits, by keeping Sita with him he caused immense discomfort to those who loved her. His intention was to make them feel he was all powerful, and as for her, he treated her with delicacy and affection. It seemed to her that his sense of vengeance came from defeat, he had been robbed of everything by the powerful clan of the Ikshus, and now he had his sweet revenge. Chapter 7 “You must think I stole you out of revenge. Not at all. I had forgiven them for desecrating my lands, for treating me as a demon, for slaying my kin. It is the right of rival princes to destroy one another. But now, the battle is a different one. I have spent peaceful years watching over you who are rightfully mine. It is my quest to make you that brought you a life. You might deny it. Mandodari did not want you. She threw you as far as she could. Yet, nature tells us that we rightfully get back what is our own.” Another day, hot and full of the venom of an untiring sun. The rains were not yet due, the forests burnt with a single spark. Sita lay by the cool of the river, watching the dragonflies settle one by one on the white lotus flowers. The old fool was ranting again. There was no end to it. Every day he boasted of his many inventions, his many successes, the love that the people of his land felt for him. Sometimes, between heavy sleep laden lids, for the torpor of the rainforest made her eyes shut involuntarily, she watched him carefully, bleakly, reciting to herself the many shlokas that she and her husband had recited in their courtyards when they were merely children. How easily she had learned them as a young bride, sung them; invisible to the teachers as she hid in the boughs of trees, looking only to see if Ram could sight her as she dangled her feet, sometimes imitating the sunbird’s call when she thought he had forgotten her. Then he would look up and smile suddenly. Childhood, love, adolescence, adulthood…and then exile. There was nothing to be said for these years of imprisonment in Lanka’s garden. The language of lust and longing went over her head, and was forgotten until Ravan announced them over and over again. “Yes, yes, I can hear you, but it means nothing to me. I have married, I have loved, my heart is taken. What you feel is nothing to me, I cannot understand what you mean, calling me ‘daughter’ and ‘bride’ in the same breath. Is it the custom of your clan to marry a young woman to such a noble chieftain, renowned for his liturgy and ever present love for Shiva yet stealing a girl? You think your devotion to Shiva can save you, but no, my husband will avenge his loss. I only have to wait. I do nothing. Yes, its true I throw away the food that you give me, and eat from the trees and the labour of my hands in the furrows of your land. That is my true home, isn’t it, that I belong to the earth, and bhoomi devi protects me. You can never make me your own, however much you use the language of love and verse..it may come to you from your head, but it does not touch your heart, so filled with hatred and enmity. If you were happy here, why did you come in search of me? I bring you your death.” “One day, when your husband slays me, you will lay your cool hand on me. You will bring to me the penance I seek, remembering that I never caused you any harm, that I watched over you, that I loved you as a father might.” “I will remember only my tears that made your garden fertile, that I have lain by the cool of the river and in the dark bole of trees. You have made me someone who is known only by her skill at survival, who never meets anyone except the forest animals who make me laugh. Look, Anjanya is there. Look up there. Ram is close by.” “Haha! You have been our prisoner for ten years, you have lived in my garden, enjoying my hospitality, if you have cried and missed your simple hut, we have not known about it. Your silence has been our companion, we have learned to love you for your simplicity, and you have never spent a single day outside your present home. You think of us as strangers, as your enemies, but for Mandodari and me you are our guest, the beloved, the one who makes us acceptable to the Gods, for in your company the sun shines brighter.” Sita looked up at the torrid sky. The colours were blueblack, she could hear the roar of the sea, smell the sand as the wind brought to her its heated golden dust. Yes, ten years had passed. When she had first come here, she had been so certain that she would be rescued very soon. But there had been no sign of Rama, no sign of his army, the feet of Laxman and Bharat had not flitted near her…they were as light as dancers, they had the guile of the birds and the squirrels, always looking at her from afar. Now they must be older men, with broad shoulders and muscular arms. She smiled to herself. They had never forgotten her, nor she them. Ram thought of her every moment. He stood at the edge of that luxurious blue sea, at Rameswaram. He visited every ancient temple, praying to Shiva and Parvati, to Uttara who was always present. He was sure that Shiva would appear. “Even if he does not, I will set Ravan aflame, I will make him the column of fire that he seeks to see. I will set fire to him and his brothers, and his lands and fields. I will set light every single palace he owns, just as we set fire to the fields once the stubble has dried.” Sita could hear him, feel his rage in the dusty storm that had sprung upon them. Ravan was still watching her carefully, his eyes loath to leave her. He could not understand why she was smiling, why she appeared to him in a state of blissful contentment. “ She enjoys my presence. She is pleased I am always here, looking at her. She can sense my tenderness. My love cannot be quantified. All these years, I have watched her from a distance, seeking her to become used to me, to find me familiar as her father, her slave, her bondsman. Let her become used to me, let her forgive me my terrible covetousness. When she becomes used to me, she will not mind that I step closer. She did not know that I encircled her in my arms when she slept….she had no knowledge. Soon, I will become as familiar as her own skin, become her second skin. She will not know the difference between her body and mine. I will slip into her bed, when she lies in her afternoon slumber.” Mandodari was laughing. “You old fool. You thought you could trick me with your stupid invention, a seed, a sapling, a child. You think everyone sucks up your stories as you produce them. Yes, Parvati produced a child to guard her, and you thought that you could produce a daughter who would be your companion. You thought she would be in love with you, and replace me. Fool. Coward. I will deal you death, I will give you a taste of my anger, my rage, my jealous fumes will over power you.” Sita ran from both of them. There was little to choose, her two foes were locked in marriage, which was more like bitter combat. And yet Mandodari often protected Sita from Ravan. It was as if they, as women, had a common bond, it was as if Mandodari was able to understand that her piety which had kept her childless, had been recompensed by the birth of this beautiful woman who like a young tree, stood tall and graceful, her skin dark and gorgeous, her hair long and easily combed though it was as curly as the tendrils on the bitter gourd, the blue grape, the jasmines that she often smelled of.. Mandodari protected her from Ravan by standing between them, by blocking the poor child from the lascivious gaze of the man who claimed that he was her father and had rights over her. Adam’s peak stared down at them, and in the babble of the brooks she thought he actually chanted the dreamtime of an invention, which was about a shared rib. “Its nonsense, what he says is nonsense. My parents in Mithila married me off in great style, and hundreds of people came and were feasted. My parents have always stood by me. They would never believe Ravan’s story of me being born from a mango seed. It is what he says to hide his lack of shame, he says these things to distract people with his fabrications, just as people weave cloth, Ravan uses words to beguile. How can I have been born to you, Mandodari? What is the meaning of these words with which he covers up my birth. Who am I? I shall ask this question till the day I die. Ram does not spend a day, no, even a moment without thinking of me, and how he may wrest me from my captivity. I am only the excuse… the real question of fate lies in Ravan’s death…only his death can free me.’ “You can think what you like, and spend as many days and years plotting and planning against me. But I shall die of old age, with you by my side.” “This marriage that you conceive of with your own daughter is against nature.” “Mandodari, I produced her from nothing, she is my daughter, but I can marry her, because she is not of my blood.” Day after day, Sita had heard the couple wrangling and felt that in his drunkenness Ravan had absorbed the legends by which a man could marry his brother’s daughter, first claiming her as his own, and then distancing her by suitable phrases. She found his lust at first alarming, then she was amused by it, wondering what had caused him to look towards her from his flying machine as she played in the cool sparkling streams when she was but a child, exiled to the forest by her husband’s jealous step mother. Ravan had fallen into a rage. Just like Mandodari and Suprankha, he could vent in a language which made Sita hide for days. It was as if he could imagine whole worlds into existence, and at every syllable he took Ram’s name. She thought it was odd that for someone who hated her husband, and wished him dead every day, he spent all his time thinking of him. “Only a lover thinks of his beloved as much as you think of my husband. You take his sacred name all the time. I am sure it can only bring you good fortune. Your venom will be the cause of your death. His vengeance will be total, for he has sworn to burn you like dried kusa grass. Wait and see, Ravan. He will come for you, your beauty will bite the dust.” “No, dear daughter, he is busy with his books, he remembers you, he thinks of you, but my time machine tells me that his army of good friends keeps him busy. He has to feed them, he has to stand up to the seasons, it is true that he loves you but he will not be wresting the waves to rescue you. I have a time machine, I am the greatest inventor the planet has ever seen. I can see him, I know where he is now. I tell you, he is busy with his tasks, as all his forest friends see him as Prince of the Universe.” “There is no need to gnash your teeth…you can never come near me. I am girdled by the great serpents that keep you at bay.” “I can wear your serpents around my neck. I can smash them, I can pull out their forked tongues.” “You will never find me, because I can disappear. You seek me, but you are always empty handed”. “You think your words mean anything. Your husband has been searching for you since you were a young girl. Now, look at you, at the pride of womanhood, wearing thin white muslin clothes, my prisoner, fed by my wife. Come, come, you are just a used up old rag, a wasted bedraggled foot mat. No one even notices you. I look out my window every morning, and I remember you for your great beauty.” “I have no mirror to look at myself. I never grew old because I knew that my husband would come, and for him I preserved my youth and my innocence. For him, I preserved my virtue. There are no ways into the wood, except from the boughs of the trees. My illnesses are few and they are cured by eating the berries in the woods, and drinking the bitter juice of boiled bark of trees. You, old man, you have committed the double sin of desiring me, and simultaneously adopting me. Your virtue remains in that you take my husband’s name everyday, and in repeating it, in the hope of seeing him, you have signed your death warrant and foretold your redemption.” “Alas, dear daughter, your theology is homespun, and you are only too wise in warning me that your husband will one day be here. We shall greet him with fire in the woods, we will burn the woods and hunt him down.” “He says the same of you. He says he will burn you like wild kusa grass.” “So you are also adept in telepathy. I too carry the messages the wind brings. I too know his plans by virtue of the airwaves. I keep my head blank. I do not like my thoughts to wander, but they intercept the thoughts of others. The virtue of Kings is to keep their empires strong. I have made this island my own, my renown spreads beyond its borders, and my learning runs to the realms of magic. No one understands the future as well as I. With my flying machines I have travelled across the oceans. They fly faster than thought, and according to you, I am merely the fool that hangs around waiting for his own death.” Mandodari appeared, and started chastising Sita for talking back. “You should have respect for him. He is your honourable host. He has protected you these many years, and found you wandering in the forest, while your husband was chasing the river’s source. How could you have wandered off and lost your way. Now, come, it is hot afternoon, you must rest. We will look after you as long as you need our help. Do not think of us as jailers. We are only here to help you in any way we can. “ “Every day, I have to hear all this nonsense. These lies. I know how much you hate me, you have done nothing for me except make fun of me, blaming me for my misfortune. I have no fear. I lack nothing. I live with my husband as I always did. He knows that I am your captive, but he longs for me to return to him, and he reassures me with his many promises that the breeze brings to me. The voices I hear are always comforting. You believe me to be foolish and impatient. What you do not realize that very early we understood that time meant nothing, we were bonded,he and I can never be separated from one another. These bodies are but symbols of history and time, but in reality we are the keepers of the earth, of existence, of love, laughter, the seasons. Do not be fooled by our manifestations.” Ravan stared at her for a bit. He had no idea that she could twirl him around her thumb. He was transfixed by her speech. His eyes were glazed, he felt that he was swallowed up by her beauty, her poise. He felt that all the universe was caught in her brown eyes, which through some star crossing made her different from other women. “There is something foreign about you”, he said hesitantly. She started laughing. There were times when this ferocious elderly man, who should have treated her tenderly and kindly as her father had, behaved like an adolescent. She was not afraid of him. She staved him off with kind words, she reminded him of the existence of her husband, she restricted his approach by putting obstacles in his path. She had grown used to her enemy, he had become familiar, a little idiotic. He fumbled with his weapons, he rolled his eyes, he looked for Anjaneya, whom he too recognized watching them from the trees. He had an odd sense of foreboding, for Sita said, “Ram will come for you, he loves me, he prays that I return to him unharmed. I will tell him that you guarded me, your prisoner, never let harm come my way, that you protected me from the elements and the wild animals. I came to you as your guest, eager to see your orchards, never imagining that I would become a prisoner. I cannot protect you when my husband comes to claim me, he will set fire to your kingdom, and you, and all that you treasure will go up in flames.” “Go catch a bath my dear. No point threatening me with words, your images have a certain vitality to them, a sense of how warrior wives must behave in captivity. I have put some beautiful black fish in the lotus pond. The are speckled with divine patterns. Why not go look at them. They will calm you down. All this talk of my imminent death confounds me. I have been up since dawn and now must go up to my rooms. A king must not spend all his time with his pet deer and slaves. You are neither, my dear daughter, I have given you freedom of speech, and it is that you use against me.” Sita thought that if she went towards the pond with the white water lilies it would look like she was obeying him. Instead, she wandered away further into the woods. Bisrakh’s fort stood out in the afternoon sun, somber and huge. He had built it to protect himself from his enemies, namely Ram and Laxman, adding rooms and turrets at every turn, expecting a siege. Sita thought that to live in continuous fear was against nature. Rivals had their reasons to go into combat, but war was a terrible thing, it destroyed more than it could ever be possible to gain or recover. Her beauty and her youth were no longer in question, as petals must fall, so must she. Ram often called her Bhoomi Devi, but now, it was absorption in the earth that was her fate. Just as she looked towards the sea and the horizon, wondering when Ram would arrive, Anjaneya beckoned. Chapter 8 “I thought it was you.” “The years have been kind to you.” “Ravan and Mandodari pose as my parents and have given me every comfort.” “Ram is near, just on the other side of the water. You will hear his bugle soon.” “I am glad to hear it. “ “You will have to come with me before the war starts, before the fires begin. Between rival kings there is no mercy. So we must leave soon.” “They were enemies aeons ago, but now Ravan has slided into indifference, he does not care if he lives or dies. He truly believes that the years have been kind to me, and that I have adjusted to my condition, living under the Ashoka trees. He plies me with rich foods, hoping that will put me into a delicious slumber. He is fascinated by my flat belly, and constantly wishes to touch me, as his ‘daughter’, he says…but I know by my prayers that Ram recites the shlokas we learned as children, I do too, which were destined to keep me safe. What are prayers to the Gods! It is that moment of utter concentration, that utter belief I have in our lives as mendicants. We were thrown into that condition by the avarice of Kaikeyi. She did not wish us to have a home. Her jealousy of our mutual love was enough to throw us out of our own home. She would not let us even enter. Now I know that Ram is coming to save me, the mountains, rives, lakes and the sea echo with my happiness. He understands me as no one else.” Anjaneya looked at Sita. “Lady, your husband has been planning this for so many years. Every step has been discussed with me. The forests are filled with my army. They have long arms and they twist themselves around the tree trunks, and hide themselves in clusters of leaves. We have been living here for many yeas. We know the lie of the land, and how to run and hide when we have been spotted. Ravan’s many magical viewing glasses and sound capturing deivces have not been able to locate us. Leave it to me, I am waiting for the next eclipse, so when it’s a pale clotted moon, your husband will land on Lanka’s shore and wage war. They are fulfilling their destiny. Each one knows the outcome, but the battle has not been won, yet. We cannot jump the claims of history or time. Now, for a year or two you must act as if everything is the same. I promise you that we will be here soon.” “A year or two. He has been at my bedside every morning, saying the oddest things. I have befriended him, to allay his suspicions. The years of my youth have been lost. Should Ram not come soon, I will never be able to bear heirs. My life will come to nothing. We who are women we know that we are born to serve. It frightens us, for we may not ask for anything but this privilege. If we do not, then we are thrown out, cast away, we become as nothing. We are taught that we exist only because we carry out other people’s wishes. We are here only by virtue of our consent to carry out the will of the men who give birth, or marry us. Ravan says that I am his child, born of misfortune, sneezed out like a misplaced pumpkin seed. On better days, he says I am born of a mango seed, he planted in a furrow, and gifted to his wife, but she didn’t want me, and threw me, and her aim was so good, I landed in Mithila. Have you heard such lies? My mother who oiled my hair, scrubbed my feet, and taught me to paint is now nothing but a foster mother. I have spent many years in the company of Ravan and his wife, and that Suprankha who is the cause of all my troubles. She was jealous of the love Ram had for me, so she sent her brother to look for me in the forest.” The little squirrel ran into their path, it’s grey coat was streaked with black stripes. “It looks like you do not have to wait that long!” “Why?”Sita asked hopefully. “Ram has sent his emissary to me.” “Ah, yes, the little grey squirrel with the black streaks…. Delightful fellow, travels close to his master’s heart. I didn’t see any ships or flags in the sea…how could Ram have arrived unannounced. I was dreading having to wait another year or two. You have no idea how slowly time has passed in the company of these people, my hosts, who have demanded that I see them every day and listen to their long stories, always the same, about how long they have waited for revenge against the lords of Ayodhya. Now, fires will rage, we will all be in danger, but so be it..better than absorbing all that hate clothed in fine words which Ravan and Mandodari bring to my bed every morning. Mandodari says that when I was born, I was very tiny, they did not think I would survive, and so she had me sent to Mithila, and left me in a furrow….as if I would have survived such a long journey..but then Ravan says I was born from his temple, meaning his head, and then transported in his flying machine. They can say anything, they just have to believe their own lies, and then it becomes truth for everyone. I have survived only by my ability to be polite, to make them feel that indeed, I am their guest, and I am their honoured friend. They fight among themselves, but to me they have only been most courteous, and ofcourse they never let Suprankha come near me. They know that she would try to kill me. I hear her shouting at her brother and his wife sometimes. Its enough to make one deaf. She keeps saying, “I know you have let someone in. I know it. Didn’t I tell you to keep the doors shut.“ Her brother fears her, he always try to make peace. He says, “Beautiful eyed Suprankha. So you fear invaders. Cannot you hear the silence. Breathe, my dear. You are too lovely to behold. I could never marry you off to a stranger. Your temper makes life difficult for Mandodari. Everyone can hear you screaming. You live in a torpor of unfulfilled desire. You still think of Ram. You remember him, and wish the years would roll back and you were their guest, unknown, a stranger, but loved. Oh, my dear, I stole his wife from him, only out of curiosity. You could not have him, so I wanted his wife to be robbed of the pleasures of bed and his constant company. Is that not proof of my love for you.” “Can you imagine! What wicked people I have fallen into the company of. They rejoice that I am alone, they puncture my solitude with their errant behavior. They feel that if I am left to myself I will surely die. But Anjaneya, I was always alone. They would have married me to the peepal tree if they could have. It’s the custom, when they see a girl like me, they think I would be safer in the company of my ancestors. I was never afraid. Now, I know that when Ram arrives, I should be ready. I will pack my few belongings and make ready to leave with you.” Anjaneya laughed. “It’s not that easy. We have to take you away secretly. Not a mistake can be made, or else if you lose your life in the accompanying battle then all will be lost. I have been asked to take you away without Ravan’s knowledge. That gives me only a few hours when he sleeps. You know he chants all night, with his eyes open…his only wish is to bedeck you with rubies, and keep you by his side. He is one minded. They call him rakshasa in the Northern kingdom, but here in the south, we know him well as a careful and honourable king, who studies the scriptures and prays to Shiva and to Krishna. He is the enemy of your husband, he has however many lineages who can burn you down to ashes. You think hatred is the only catalyst between two kings? No, when it comes to loyalty it is much more resilient. We do not know how many are followers of this king who is known to us by name only. But we talk too much. My Lord will not like it. He swears us to silence so that he can plan your safe return. He has spent many years learning the maps of the sea, the monsters that lie below, the strange caverns that bedeck the ocean floor. If anything happens to you, it is us who will have to pay with our heads. My men are also courageous, but sometimes they are fool-hardy. I have to be careful with my instructions, lady. They sometimes get into fights and become visible. We know that Ravan has planted mirrors in the forks of trees which radiate back to him through sunlit glades, recreating images. He knows where we are now, he sees us as warm emissions of light…He then sends his men, come, you must return to your garden. No one must know that we have spoken.” Sita hurried back, stopping to swim in the lotus pond. She sat on the swing below the large tree, whose boughs were black with age, their thickness proof of the years that she had spent in this garden. The trunk was larger than any she had seen before, and its leaves sharp and pointed and green, transparent in the evening light. It had been many hours since she had gone, but no one seemed to have noticed. To have seen Anjaneya atlast, of whom she had heard so much as a child, was a great gift. She felt safe, secure, hopeful. What he said, he would do. He was like a rock, patient, logical, just. Now all she must do is not show that she had understood the plan: wait, be still, have trust. Anjaneya knew what to do, he had received a sign. The army hid in the trees, they were many, they were adept and fearless. It seemed odd that the day was coming close that she had waited for, hoping it would bring her the one she longed for most. Had he forgotten how time would change her? She had tried so hard to keep her jewels, but Mandodari had taken them from her as soon as she arrived. As for Ravan, he promised her the treasures of his mines, but they were just words, for he would never bring them to the garden for his prisoner to look at. She had been happy with the flowers she saw every day, and the exquisite colours of the butterflies. Nothing pleased her as much as the beginning of each day, and the colours of the morning sky. She was only a girl, and when she saw the moon, the stars, the sun, she thought with pleasure that her husband could see them too. In the garden, Ravan was waiting. “So you met with Hanuman. You think I did not know. You think I am stupid. No, Sita! I know every plan you have, your value to me is not your servitude…it is the opposite..that you actually think you are a free being. It makes me believe that I am generous in letting you live. You become the wick of the candle I light every day in prayer, I am the humble devotee to the great Lord Shiva. He gives me every wish, I bring for him the choicest fruits and flowers, and burn the sweetest incense. We who live in this earthly paradise, value our every possession. For us, this is the new world, we do not miss what we lost, nor do we think about it. Bisrakh is still the place where our ancestors roam, but you, my dear are my trophy…even Mandodari has no share in you.” “How can one human being own another. We are not cattle. We have thoughts, feelings. We know what we want. I have never coveted some one else’s things. I grew up with my husband. It is true we were children, but he put me in the care of his mother. She fed me first, putting all the other children aside. If you demand that I behave to you as a girl to her father, why have you let me grow old, waiting in your garden. What is the reason that you robbed me of my youth, took away everything that was most precious, left me alone and without reason or thought, allowed me to while away the hours in your garden. It’s the cruelest thing that any man could do, to pretend love, even fatal desire, and leave me uncared for, with no one to talk to. You left me alone.” “Its not I who left you alone. It was your husband, making kidnapping you ever so easy.” “So you admit it. You admit that you robbed me of my life, and made me your prisoner.” “My sister was humiliated by your husband and his brother.” “Let’s not go into that old story. Its not the first time we have visited it. She tried to steal my husband.” “And for that she was summarily banished with no explanation.” “My husband will come to fetch me. He is close by now.” “So I have got the information I sought.“ Sita turned away. She would not let Ravan win battle after battle, it was as if in these conversations, he sought to be her friend, and then catapulted back into being that most familiar persona, her enemy, insulting her in a very convivial tone. She had grown old waiting. Ten years had made her wise. She had no idea how her husband had spent the years. He was attractive to women, they were always pursuing him, and he gave them fragments of time, which they cherished, believing that it was equally precious in memory to him. She had seen how many of them sought his promise to return, and to each he said. “My marriage to Sita is inviolable. I will see you again, and I thank you for your company.” These simple courtesies were sufficient for these languorous women, and even the most active of them, who had spent many years in pursuit of Ram would withdraw to their household responsibilities, care of parents, care of immediate members of their recognized family. They understood that he did not want them to abnegate the rights and privileges of family life, their every day routines, their marriages past or future. All these lovely willing ladies, throwing themselves at her husband…how many more had appeared while she was absent, swearing fealty to him and his clan, promising him male children. Sita wept. She herself had always been so loved, so full of an ephemeral evanescent joy, nothing tangible, nothing visible, an aura of contentment that followed her like the perfume from the earth after a drizzle of rain. So be it. She dried her tears. So her enemy had foreknowledge, he would use it to expand his army, but he did not know that the battle was won only when he was dead. She would wait. Let him die, by fire or sleep, it did not matter to her. She did not seek vengeance. Just suppose this incestuous bastard was actually her father? Chapter 9 Rameswaram had been hot. The blue waters of the beautiful sea ran side by side with the tree lined roads maintained by the princes of small principalities. The blue sky matched the waters. Hundreds of people walked in line to see the temples. Ram’s ambitious plan to recover his wife was part of the shared mission of many hundreds of people, who saw it as their divine quest. His goodness and justice had been bequeathed to them by many delegated orders that his brother Bharat carried out for him. Bharat had not a streak of vanity, or envy, he always acted merely as his brother’s envoy. And Laxman was forever impatient, that they cross the sea to Lanka. The sea stretched, but it was indeed blessed with a horizon. It seemed as if the winds were in their favour, and his people were ready to cross the waters with him. They were men and women, not all warriors, but simple farmers who wanted their princess returned back to him. Hanuman had left a huge stone in a pond near their homes to remind them that he could move mountains for his princess. They knew that he was now in Lanka, in visible sight and radius, if not in the company of Sita. Those who had heard of the plan to bring Sita back had just picked up their bows and arrows, and axes and clubs, for who would not seek to bring back their lovely queen? Though many years had passed, they remembered her for the curly haired child, with the quartz eyes, resplendent in her simple clothes, loved by all for her free will, and her love for her husband, which she had carried like a talisman. Everyone knew of the mutual love between them. Even their adversaries knew that they could not be separated from one another, though many tried. Word had come to them from Hanuman that Ravan had tried to conquer Sita by guile and lies, while keeping her captive in his garden. He was known for his wit, his malicious intent, his enmity to all those who stood in his path. Yet, the monkey army had been able to penetrate his well known fort. They had arrived in small groups, hiding themselves in his garden, waiting for the appropriate moment when they could take Sita and run. They had no magical bird, they only had their will to defeat a common enemy, and take her and run, with the intent of escaping through the forest and reaching the shore. Boats would be waiting for them, and while Ravan gave chase, Ram and Laxman would arrive. There is no innocence in war. Everyone knows their role, they each know what they must do, and not do. Ram’s army of ordinary people were ready to give up their lives for their Lord. They only knew that laying down their lives had not been demanded of them, and they had voluntarily arrived. The local people, subjects of Ravan were not their friends or enemies. They were mainly villagers too, some writers, soldiers and politicians among them, who stood firmly supporting Ravan. For them the insult to their Princess Supranka was answered by an abduction of Sita. They were sorry that that virtuous couple had lost the opportunity of spending beautiful years together, eating food from their villages in the forest. When were they ever exiled when even the forests were their private property? The grass cutters, keepers of cows, bee hives, fruit orchards, the hunters and farmers were all their own beloved people. They were known to be good paymasters, never allowing favours to go unnoticed. They could have spent 14 years in ‘exile’ very comfortably together in the company of the obsessively loyal Laxman, who not only got them their food, he also regularly sent his carrier pigeons with news to his younger brothers and his wife. Being born of different mothers had never made any difference to them. They were all very joined together in love and loyalty. Ram lay under the great tree that marked his camp in the precincts of an ancient temple. The stones were quarried from the mountains. They had absorbed the heat of the sun, but Laxman, always attentive had sprinkled water. It was late evening, and a transparent moon could be seen. It was a thin slice of moon, like a sliver cut from a water melon. He stared at it, thinking it was some days since the new moon. Sita had always been afraid of the dark nights of eclipses and new moons. She would plaintively say that it was a time when the monks never spoke to women, and shaved their heads. She looked anxiously to see if Ram had shaved his hair. Would he repudiate her? Would he keep her away from the marriage bed? Well, she was only a child. He had been always patient with her. Since the time that Sita had been abducted, she had slept in the grove of trees, the servants always protecting her from bats. Termites, ants and bees and snakes and wild animals, by the sacred fumes of tree resins brought from the groves. They had boiled her cinnamon water for her bath and for her early morning infusion. It was only Mandodari’s choicest foods that she threw away. For the rest, she lived like any hermit would, not looking for human company, but not declining their attentions. She really could not tell the difference between night and day, there were no events to mark them. Her dreams ran through the hours, linking her to her loved ones. She had no idea about their whereabouts, because she averted her face when Ravan told her about her kin, for he had news of all kinds, every day, for nothing escaped him. She knew that he was trying to be kind. Yet, she shut her ears. Ofcourse, it was revenge that had motivated the abduction. He had admitted it himself. In his magical garden, where fruit trees abounded, and the silkworms made their cocoons, she crooned to herself the beautiful verses her mother had taught her as a child. When the early morning fires were kindled with the first rays of the sun, she chanted those verses she had learned in the company of her husband. What was she going to do, when she met him again? Would he be bored by her, now that she had wilfully chosen the path of silence? Would they have anything in common? Earlier, he had basked in her peacefulness, said his best work was done in her company. Ofcourse, they had known that he was being trained as a soldier to fight and vanquish a famous warrior. There was no getting away from a destiny they had been warned of. They needed, then, the manifold ignorance which romantic love provides as a shield. They had disclosed their fear of imminent separation from their mothers, who had merely comforted them, saying that soothsayers always used the light from the stars which were indeed very far away to explain to their clients their obscure calculations. Anyway, the time was not now. And so they had gone back to their well loved pursuits. It was necessary that he continued his studies of military histories, and she started to note down in detail which of the shlokas that they both knew by heart which were to be painted. The gorgeous colours entranced her. She knew that after her death, for they were mortals after all, these paintings with the fish eyed goddess would remind her people that she had indeed been loved. There was no use in trying to avert fate. As soon as she had seen Suprankha, she knew that this woman had enough ambition and energy to separate her from her husband. “There is no fairness in love and war!” Supranakha would announce loudly to all present. Sita and Kaushalya had been surprised at the invocations of their guest. They had looked at each other, puzzled. Their goodness and piety was a dirge for their visitor, who sought to humble them at every turn. And yet, yet, their melancholic good manners prevailed. They tried very hard to be accommodating, for these guests usually brought alliances and political weight with them. The women were taught to be in accordance with her husband’s ambitions, but in this case, they were not very clear who they were appeasing. Since she came in with so much valour and beauty, they presumed that she was known to the clan. How could a guest enter the private chambers and be accommodated? How could she be allowed to access the intimate details of their inner lives? Yet, now, languishing in a garden with no hope of any kind, as her husband had not sent any further emissaries, Sita wondered how much longer she would have to suffer imprisonment. Every morning, Ravan asked her in the kindest terms, whether she had slept well, whether she had eaten the meal that Mandodari had made for the family? He knew he would be met with an averted face, but still he persisted. “And how do you feel today? Give me your hand. Let me feel your pulse.” She felt anxious, hearing his soft confidential burr. It would be hard proving that he had not touched her. He boasted to the servants that he had lain with her. Would it be possible? Had she encouraged him? Had she by some form of unacknowledged gesticulation communicated that she was his subject? So many years had passed in his courteous company, that she was now anxious that her tears had not dissolved her heart which was made of stone. Fear rent her awake. Yes, it was true, the claims that he was her father were in themselves lewd. He assumed that his learning was sufficient to prove his case, that as the keeper of mysteries he was a most powerful person. Only his wife understood his claim to being the great priest king, and forgave him every calumny. Sita wondered where Ram was. What beautiful damsel now held his attention, promising him sons: the eternal demand that vainglorious men had in their small principalities, which women sought to fulfill. The coexistence of dream time meant that he could always assure them he would return, but in this life, he belonged to Sita. She had heard that many times. Ram’s absence, Ravan’s continual assurance that he would never hurt her, all of it was beginning to confuse her. When would Ram find a way to release her from this bondage? She had heard that he was at Rameswaram. She knew the beaches well, and the long queues of those who waited for the sight of the Gods, and the supplication of the men and women who sought boons. Ofcouse the Gods and their consorts waited. They lived because the people breathed life into them with their faith and their ceremonies. It was now late morning. Sita wondered if she had dreamed of the conversation on the beach. It had made her head spin, thinking of how close escape was. When would they come to fetch her? Who would it be? Would Ram send Laxman? No, she doubted it. He would be in the front line of war. He had invented a new form of artillery not requiring human presence, just a press of a button. Ravan had boasted of such a weapon in his armoury, but Laxman had made one ready too. They would not be needing a large army, if that were the case. Preparations for war had taken a very long time indeed, but with such a disaster weapon, they would need less than a night to mop up their victory. She waited for night to descend. The candle in Ravan’s turret burned late. He slept very little, like his sister he needed very few hours of sleep. As Sita lay, twisting and turning, she saw that the sky was suddenly alight, it was on fire. The war was on. Chapter 10 Her sons had asked her, “Was it ten days that you were prisoner? That’s what the parathi (washerwoman) says when she washes clothes and tells us stories.” “Perhaps. It felt like ten years. I went into the enchanted garden a girl, and came out a woman, who was creased by time and nothingness. I was to hide in the boat when the war was waged, but it went awry, because it dashed on the rocks, and brought me back to shore. I had to wait knowing that if I was found I would be locked away. That war, it burned the garden where I was hidden, and would have killed me too, as it spread from the beach at a rapid speed. The fires which Ravan started were lethal, not just annihilation but a fog of poisonous fumes which spread everywhere. And Laxman’s weapon with the newest technology did not work. It rained, the fires were not extinguished, it grew dark, your father and his brother were wounded. As were Hanuman’s men. He had with him the sanjeevini which he had got in bulk with him, bringing many herbs together not recognizing the real medicines among the multitude of plants. I too managed to survive the poison fires because Mandodari came to our help, and hid us, and told us where Ravan and his brothers were, giving up through her whispers their secret lairs, in revenge for his many betrayals. Whatever be the cause of our victory, it was hard won. Ram came to fetch me, as I lay hidden, refusing to leave with Anjaneya. He was a bachelor, you know that, so even if I had accompanied him when he wished to leave with me before the war began, I had explained that I would leave only with my husband. I never imagined that my cautiousness about my virtue would come to naught because as we were leaving, Ravan, dying from the fires that melted his kingdom, suddenly held my hand. “Remember your promise. Remember the benediction. Pull me out of my grave. Drag me out from the hole your husband has left me in. Help me.” I could not wrench my hand free, and so I gave him the blessing of Bhoomi Devi. I could not withhold it. It came to me as easily as Mandodari passing us state secrets. Something asked, something delivered. Sometimes we don’t know why we do what we do. His large eyes were beseeching, he was already melting with the heat of his own warrior inventions, and Ram’s wrath coupled with Hanuman’s dexterity and bringing things to a conclusion. There was no end to the treachery of war and mutual hatred. I wanted him to be peaceful at last. Bisrakh of the lost kingdom, the heart gone astray, the man thought to be a demon by some, including my husband and all our kin, and yet, in hindsight, an intellectual loyal to his own. Was I mistaken, that I should have shut his eyes when he died? He was our enemy, but he had been my constant companion for ten years…can you imagine? Knocking at my heart every day, asking for my love, begging for my tenderness, clutching at my hand but not receiving even a glance from me. How his wife must have hated me. She watched us with a deadened gaze, hurting from his indifference, and the insults of his sister. She was after all someone who understood that his lust was knitted in his very being, that he longed for coitus with a woman whom he had conjured to meet this very need. How repulsed Mandodari was that he tried to pass me on to her, as his ‘daughter’. Constantly asking her to cover up his sly attempts at seducing me, watching me as I aged from day to day, knowing that my tragedy would one day be his downfall. And Ram looked at me, thinking, “What is she doing? Why is she giving Ravan this moment of condolence, why is she the last thing his iris sees and imprints in his dying brain. This is odd.” Hanuman gave me an odd look too, I am sure that the parati, your washer woman, was not wrong when she said that the war took only a week, ten days at the most. They say that in Adam’s hill too, it took seven days to create the universe. And six days for my father in law to die. Is time so graspable, counted only by full moons? And Ravan also said to his wife that I was Hava, born of the rib cage of the first woman born from man. I was born from that relic bone which he fermented in obsidian glass, and so he explained my brown eyes and black hair…they were merely genetic hand-me -downs which he had nurtured, and created me. So I was not born of him, and he could marry me, if he wished. Such a beautiful man, full of odd longings. Every day I saw him, and I was repelled by his lust. Every day he came to me, bathed and shining, full of an unnameable ardour. So that’s why the washerwoman says that it took only ten days to find him, and then in the palace in Ayodhya she would wink and say, “ She lay in the garden, and when she was asleep he lay with her.” Did I know that? My heart was full of that leaden hatred, that sense of being continually vandalized by his hate. As for his ten heads, which she boasted were buried with him, that was the fantasy of those who interred him in the soil while I redeemed him from his wounds and sores. I had that much humanity, to know that my jailor is capable of pain, and believes himself to be omnipotent when alive, and merely a soft spineless venomous creature when defeated. He was on fire, I saved him with the beneficence of the cool earth which makes no distinctions between friends and foes, and absorbs all easily. So as a joke, they buried a well worked effigy of nine heads which fitted well together. he was buried with it. Ram was pleased to burn the many effigies that came up. Only a vast turbulent sea had stood between him and me. Why would he not burn Ravan a thousand times? Or perform sacrifices to commend me after my death? All his life, and he lived long as warrior and king, he burned Ravan. We who are human, we hate with a terrible intensity, while avowing love for the gods. We are without mercy when we accost those who took that which was most precious. And so it was with Ram and Ravan, whose stories were told differently in Lanka and Ayodhya. I was the catalyst, the manner by which a prophesy became fulfilled. It was about the punishment meted out for a borrowed time, both the lust that served Suprankha well, when she desired my husband, and for the reciprocal lust that Ravan had for me. This is what Ravan said, “So! He invites my sister as his guest, and introduces her to his wife and mother. He takes her to the family chambers. He lives in proximity with her. He says she invited herself. She left her garments on their marriage bed. So she was ousted by his brother Laxmn, for her covetousness. In return, I will steal his wife, and show him what absence does, how corrosive it is. I will show him my sinister face, let him think on it, every time that he reads his kinship charts and speaks of his ancestor Karna. I, Bisrakh will tie his hands with an amulet, the kind which brothers tie on their sisters. He will try to release his wife, and fail. He will try to kill me, but the amulet of memory will absorb his wrath. He will seek her return but she will be my ward, my daughter and she will not remember how she arrived or how she left.” But such a man did exist, the handsome warrior who conquered and raped without compunction. Our soldiers have done the same, when they came to Lanka. They killed all those whom they could lay hands on. They raped many women, and they attacked many small children. War, they said, loftily. These are our enemies. They would do the same to us, if they ever set foot on our lands. Hanuman knew he could not control his foot soldiers. His only intent was to save me. He would do anything for me, but he was also very knowledgeable. He knew that others would spy on us, disgrace us, with rumours and lies, so he always laughed and said “Not now” every time I asked him to take me to Ram. Then, I got tired of waiting, and I said, “I will only go with my husband.” Yet, I agreed to go in the boat waiting for me, but then, the battle got dangerous, and I was hidden away so that I did not have to see the continual violence. Being wooed by Ravan every day for ten years was a splinter in my soul. Every day, he called me by sweet names, endearments I dare not describe. Mandodari read the poems he wrote for me. She was shocked, but she trusted me, and in the end she became our ally. We could do nothing in all that time as Ravan sat by me, longing, looking, demanding. At night, I called his name, beseeching him to leave me alone. Mandodari heard me. She cooled my brow, and tried to awaken me. Did the washerwoman hear what I felt, how I cried, how my heart broke in two? She was always present, accompanying me, fearing for me, my intimate because she knew every aspect of my life. And so it was to her that Rama turned for advice. “Did she menstruate while I was away” “Yes, my Lord.” “Were her sheets wrinkled with shapes other than her own.” “No, my Lord!” It was not surprising that my husband asked these questions. If not him, Laxman would have. They knew every detail of what happened when I was a captive. They even knew the names of my pet deer, and their fawns. They were jealous of every passing breeze, and they had heard Ravan shouting that he loved me, that I was his creation. They assumed that meant ownership, and they sullied their warrior minds with the thought that Ravan had possessed me. How could I convince them, when I myself did not know what had happened when I slept. The dream time that I entered was so horrible, so full of death and vituperation, that even the continually hallucinating Suprankha could not tolerate my cries for help. The garden where I was hidden away became my refuge, it was where the small grey crickets took over the surface of the clear waters of the pond. It was where the dragonflies came to rest, where the well dressed tree frogs came to dance in their yellow coats polka dotted with red…I had never seen them before, these lovely creatures, amphibians of a lovely land. That’s why when your father put me through the test of the gossip of the people who did not want me to be by his side I returned to the rain forest. I came here, to Pupally, because I had ways by which I could meet the hills and trees and grasses, the forest people, smell the fragrance of the kundrikam, the tree resin, when the local people burnt their fire wood, and yes, I learned to live with my memories. Here, with every torrential season of rain, I knew that one day I would die, that the land would rent me open as if I was nothing but a jackfruit tree, scoured from inside to store clear water. These kennis, like the bee hives, each so round and rich and thick with the sponge that stored honey were my symbols for continuing life, which I had to promise you. I was put aside for purposes of state craft, my very identity was absorbed into the golden image, as if I was a deer to be crafted by goldsmiths and paraded. So be it, the malice of my own servers, who could not bear our coupling, who could not be witnesses to the great passion that your father and I had they became the questioners of my virtue. They passed every rumour, exulting in my loneliness, my loss of speech, my selfhood which no longer existed except as the shadow of who I had become. Interred for ten days, or ten years, separated from my loved ones, how could I expect to be what they wanted to be. A mendicant living on the fruits of the deranged lord of another land, refusing the cooked food from his kitchens, speaking to myself, watching the monkeys in the trees…I who had a vulture for a pet! So, we returned to Ayodhya, spent by our passion and our renewal. We lived together for the duration of our journey, the people of the South as vehement in our joy, saying a demon has been destroyed, and the people of our own allied kingdoms delighting in our journeys and our successes. How were we to know, that this placid love which had withstood every calamity, every possible obstacle would fall into the pit of this continual dissonance, the chant to prove my chastity while in the hands of Ravan. He was greedy, it is true, his eyes always lit up with hope when he saw me. He tried to touch me, in the presence of his wife, who was sympathetic to me for the travail that I had to undergo. Yet, he knew, and I knew that his head would burst asunder in the memory of previous curses which had been heaped on him. There was nothing for me to do, really. He had to meet his fate, as just as I met mine. And Ram, my husband, was he not a scholar, as much as he was a warrior? He got tired of the questioning that continually led to suspicion about me. He thought the easiest way would be the agnipariksha, the mouth of the volcano, of agnilingam. “Go prove your chastity! Do your job. Calm the people! Let me get on with my work.” It wasn’t easy, but I had no choice. Sometimes, love and longing throw you into the abyss unasked. I walked through the fire, remembering to cool my body with water (all water is holy) and then I ran over the coals so fast that my feet did not burn.” And then? “We couldn’t go back to each other, and the needle of suspicion always hovered over my head, so continually was it poised. That murmur, that glance, that raised eyebrow, that sudden laugh..suspicion like Suprankha’s continually missing nose is our punishment for taking a path which others do not. And that is the assertion of a common humanity. Its not easy to say that I was virtuous. The word is a description of actions, and I had none other than staying alive, believing that my husband would return for me. He had to fight a war, they say I was the cause. No, it was that they were enemies pitted across aeons, and would always recognize each other and go for the kill. I had no one to fight for…and your birth, my sons, was to avert the ashvamedha, which according to legend, required me to lie under it. There were many things the scriptures ordained, and I lacking teachers or texts, being there by chance, heard them in the wind. Here the rainy season rages. We are hidden away for four long months. If your father or Hanuman comes, I will ask them why they made me undergo the agni pariksha, the fire travels, the fire trials. I will lock up your uncle and make him witness to my agony. I will keep him here as my prisoner till he answers my question. I am no longer that girl he watched from tree tops in the Ashoka groves…I am a woman who has known hunger and death, and the friendships of the poorest people of the land. I will not go away without asking these questions.” Hearing this, her sons became witness to the earth opening up and swallowing up their mother when their father after a long absence returned only to ask his wife, “Ready to return? Ready to face the enquiries of the people, my people. Were you faithful, loyal, careful of your virtue?” We tied up our adoptive uncle, whom our mother called Anjaneya. We sought answers for her suffering. He could say nothing, except smile and say, “That was her fate. She encountered it with courage. Bhoomi Devi gave her great strength to face what was her lot. We were there to help her when she most needed it. You cannot punish your father. He is what he is, his burden is his to bear. If he forgot your mother in the long years that she lived in the forest with you, well, that was fate too. He was busy with his studies, he always felt that he needed to take care of his kingdom, his people. What they wanted, was what he wanted. He was always loyal to your mother, turning away these many eager women who accosted him at every turn. Your mother always said that his kingdom meant more to him, but truly, these are obligations which are ours by our very birth. We seek to avoid them, but they follow us, saying, these are our primary duties. And your father made no distinction between subjects treating them all equally. Trial by fire, well, my dear brothers…it is a tradition among the Ikshus, you know that. They burn everything that comes in their way, it’s a cosmic havan if you like, they are used to it. When they are peaceful, calm, they light sticks of sweet smelling incense to substitute. Trial by fire…she could have done it again..she knows that is asked of women when they live apart from their husbands and seek to rejoin them. You know that your father had quite forgotten that she had been sent away. But he knew what the people want, its always trial by fire. Say something a little different, and all the people respond, ‘Camera! Action. Cut!’ Nothing changes. What’s your next question?” xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx